Dotti Berry, iDigital Media Pro Empowering Entrepreneurs

Why I added a category for Ramblings, Feelings & BS Opinions

Sometimes you just need a “catch all” category.  That’s what this will be, as I share my everyday thoughts, feelings, BS opinions, and RAMBLINGS. I find it great to stick with what I am feeling. Why?  You can’t argue with a person’s feelings.  For instance, if I say, “I feel sick,” I don’t have too many people arguing with me. Someone might say, “Well, Dotti, you don’t look sick,” but they aren’t going to argue with what I feel. Now, opinions?  That’s another story! I call them my subjective BS Opinions.  I’ve got them, you’ve got them, everyone has them.  Our opinions are our subjective take on how we see the world and our beliefs.  That means we often have to get outside of our subjective take on anything to truly “understand” how someone else thinks.For instance, I firmly believe that I, Dotti Berry, should have the equal opportunity to marry the person I love, who happens to be Robynne Sapp.  I have now married her three times, only to have our marriaged annulled by the state of Oregon by having a refund check for $65 sent back to us after Oregon changed the law to say that same gender couples could not marry, and to negate the legal marriage of 3000 couples.  We made a photocopy of it (for the sake of history since nobody in a few years will believe this ever happened) and then merrily cashed it and went out to dinner to celebrate that we are still married.  Why do I say that? Because a marriage is a commitment between two people (and their God if that applies) in whatever mutual contract they have decided.  Our vow to one another each time has been “I come to you with an open heart, and vow to change the world through the expression of our love.” We are so committed to one another and to our society that we took a year long journey with the intention of engaging hearts and minds, creating authentic connections, and transcending difference that separate us. We also have a non-profit, Stand UP Speak OUT that fuels our passion for change in America.

One reason we love Canada is for the opportunity we had to legally marry there. As Prop 8 goes back to court this week, we think about what an important time in history this is.  Had history not changed for Obama, he could have never been President. I say that, this too, shall pass one day, and we will be accorded the legal rights of mixed gender couples.  It will help to one day have the 1000+ rights that most couples do not even realize they have.  We find it hard to understand why people refer to it  “gay marriage.” It is simply marriage equality.  When 17 states in 1967 finally made it legal for blacks and whites to marry, they didn’t call it a special name. Changing the long outdated law simply created marriage equality for mixed race couples.
 That’s what we want…no more…no less.  If you have never read about Mildred & Richard Loving, they are the interracial couple whose relationship makes it one step closer to me having those same rights.  Before she died, see what she came to understand about same gender couples and their right to marry.  You can read about their story on its 40th anniversary and what Mildred decided before she passed away in May, 2008.  There’s something sweet about their last name being Loving.  A scripted Hollywood movie couldn’t have made a more poignant choice. If you’ve never watched “Tying the Knot,” put that on your list of “must see” movies. The film points out that many of the same arguments currently used against same-sex unions were argued previously to deny interracial couples the right to marry.  Few in our country realize that June 12 is Loving Day,  in honor this courageous couple, who simply wanted to love one another and live their life together.

Richard and Mildred Loving got married and made history in 1958. They were the couple that overturned one of the last vestiges of racism in America. She was black and he was white and interracial marriages were forbidden in their home state of Virginia. They got married anyway and eventually took their case (Loving v. Virginia) to the Supreme Court. In its decision, on June 12, 1967, the court struck down the Virginia law and similar laws in 16 other states.

Tags: "gay marriage", "June 12, "Prop 8 in California Courts", "Two Women & a Poodle", 1967", California court, Dotti Berry, equality, Loving v. Virginia, marriage, marriage equality, Mildred Loving, Prop 8, Richard Loving, Robynne Sapp, Rylee Joy

What’s in a Name?

A name. Is it who we are or who we represent? Today, we hear that it is the best piece of real estate in which to invest, that is…if you fortunate enough to get yours. I would like to take the time to thank my ex-husband for my last name. Not only is he a magnificent human being, but without him, I might not own this valuable piece of real estate, my name.  Why? I was previously a Johnson and Dotti Johnson might have been more difficult to obtain. Can you imagine “Smith?” No offfense, Kimberly, but you know the trouble you ran into in acquiring yours. More than the value of the internet real estate is the value a name takes on when we ask people to trust in our words and to value our ideas and opinions. I take that seriously and will work to give value with the writings connected to my name…to give without expectation and unattached to a specific outcome. That is my commitment to you, my readers, with whom I desire to have a long and fruitful relationship. I welcome your authentic feedback. I embrace the diversity of those who visit this page. I hope that something will cause you to come back and bring your friends, as I feel this is a sacred trust, this sharing of words and feelings between one another.

Tags: Berry, commitment, Dotti, friends