Dotti Berry, iDigital Media Pro Empowering Entrepreneurs

Friend, Mel White, & his son, Mike, in 1st place on Amazing Race!

I have laughed myself silly watching my friend, Mel White, and his son on the Amazing Race.  I literally cried I was laughing so hard when I saw Mel in one show, scooting down a hill with a 25 pound of cheese in his lap.  The others were manuevering the treacherous terrain with their cheese (and often two round 25-pound blocks) in this wooden carrier on their backs.  I jokingly said to  Mel that I was thinking, “You old fart (since he is 69!)…what are you doing sliding down the hill on your ass?”  Amazing Race is the perfect show for Mel White, an AMAZING man.  As usual, Mel, was simply “ahead of his time” in discovering another way to achieve a goal and winning while doing it.  He was also leading and inspiring, another of his remarkable gifts.  How do I know that?  Minutes later, after people’s wooden carrier began to break apart from the weight of the cheers, I saw others imitating Mel.  Being older and wiser does often help!  Mel has inspired me since I first met him in Lynchburg, VA.  Mel was the ghost writer of Rev. Jerry Falwell’s books (and for others as well).  Once Mel came out as a gay man, however, many of his “religious buddies” no longer found his life-long friendship necessary.  One who didn’t turn his back on him is Philip Yancey…Philip even walked in a Gay Pride Parade with Mel.  At any rate, I was there to stand for the first time with Soulforce to say “The spiritual violence from religious institutions is harmful.”  Many of us have personal experience, but have stood up to live our lives as the gift that we are.  Mel and Mike are currently in 1st place!  It is because of becoming involved with Soulforce that I have had the opportunity to sit, side by side, in a jail cell after an arrest for an act of civil disobedience to stand up justice and equality for all…people like Arun Gandhi (grandson of Gandhi).  I asked Arun while we were being transported to the jail cell in Cleveland, Ohio after our arrest, “Arun, what is it like to be arrested?” assuming that he had done this before.  He looked at me and said, “Dotti, this is my first arrest.”  I said, “Your Gandhi’s grandson and this is your first arrest?”  He replied, “Yes, I thought this was a worthy cause.”  Yolanda King was with us that time.  Peggy Campolo, wife of Tony Campolo, was also with us.  Rodney Powell, a young man when he took a seat at the lunch counter during the civil rights era, was also there.  Jim and Phil Lawson, retired United Methodist ministers were also in jail with us.  Jim taught non-violent process for Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  Sometimes, it simply feels good to be in good company.  That was how I felt that day as I sat in jail.  I also felt humbled beyond words. Enough said about that.  Bottom line…catch Mel and Mike this Sunday, March 8, 2009, on The Amazing Race.

So when Gandhi said, “We must be the change we wish to see,” we believe it and took it to heart. It is our intention set forth in our three weddings to one another, “I come to you with an open heart and vow to change the world through the expression of our love.”  Mel White and our work with Soulforce inspired our year-long journey in 2005/06, Gay Into Straight America, with us being affectionately dubbbed “Two Women & a Poodle” because of Rylee Joy, our wonderful “connector.  This  evolved into our non-profit, Stand UP Speak OUT, and our continued commitment to speaking throughout the U.S. and Canada, while engaging hearts and minds, creating authentic connections and transcending differences that separate us, transforming ourselves and our world, one person at a time.

Tags: "Two Women & a Poodle", Amazing Race, Amazing Race #14, Arun Gandhi, Gay Into Straight America, M.K. Gandhi Institute for Non-Violence, Mel White, Mike White, Ryleejoy, Soulforce, Stand UP Speak OUT

Why I added a category for Ramblings, Feelings & BS Opinions

Sometimes you just need a “catch all” category.  That’s what this will be, as I share my everyday thoughts, feelings, BS opinions, and RAMBLINGS. I find it great to stick with what I am feeling. Why?  You can’t argue with a person’s feelings.  For instance, if I say, “I feel sick,” I don’t have too many people arguing with me. Someone might say, “Well, Dotti, you don’t look sick,” but they aren’t going to argue with what I feel. Now, opinions?  That’s another story! I call them my subjective BS Opinions.  I’ve got them, you’ve got them, everyone has them.  Our opinions are our subjective take on how we see the world and our beliefs.  That means we often have to get outside of our subjective take on anything to truly “understand” how someone else thinks.For instance, I firmly believe that I, Dotti Berry, should have the equal opportunity to marry the person I love, who happens to be Robynne Sapp.  I have now married her three times, only to have our marriaged annulled by the state of Oregon by having a refund check for $65 sent back to us after Oregon changed the law to say that same gender couples could not marry, and to negate the legal marriage of 3000 couples.  We made a photocopy of it (for the sake of history since nobody in a few years will believe this ever happened) and then merrily cashed it and went out to dinner to celebrate that we are still married.  Why do I say that? Because a marriage is a commitment between two people (and their God if that applies) in whatever mutual contract they have decided.  Our vow to one another each time has been “I come to you with an open heart, and vow to change the world through the expression of our love.” We are so committed to one another and to our society that we took a year long journey with the intention of engaging hearts and minds, creating authentic connections, and transcending difference that separate us. We also have a non-profit, Stand UP Speak OUT that fuels our passion for change in America.

One reason we love Canada is for the opportunity we had to legally marry there. As Prop 8 goes back to court this week, we think about what an important time in history this is.  Had history not changed for Obama, he could have never been President. I say that, this too, shall pass one day, and we will be accorded the legal rights of mixed gender couples.  It will help to one day have the 1000+ rights that most couples do not even realize they have.  We find it hard to understand why people refer to it  “gay marriage.” It is simply marriage equality.  When 17 states in 1967 finally made it legal for blacks and whites to marry, they didn’t call it a special name. Changing the long outdated law simply created marriage equality for mixed race couples.
 That’s what we want…no more…no less.  If you have never read about Mildred & Richard Loving, they are the interracial couple whose relationship makes it one step closer to me having those same rights.  Before she died, see what she came to understand about same gender couples and their right to marry.  You can read about their story on its 40th anniversary and what Mildred decided before she passed away in May, 2008.  There’s something sweet about their last name being Loving.  A scripted Hollywood movie couldn’t have made a more poignant choice. If you’ve never watched “Tying the Knot,” put that on your list of “must see” movies. The film points out that many of the same arguments currently used against same-sex unions were argued previously to deny interracial couples the right to marry.  Few in our country realize that June 12 is Loving Day,  in honor this courageous couple, who simply wanted to love one another and live their life together.

Richard and Mildred Loving got married and made history in 1958. They were the couple that overturned one of the last vestiges of racism in America. She was black and he was white and interracial marriages were forbidden in their home state of Virginia. They got married anyway and eventually took their case (Loving v. Virginia) to the Supreme Court. In its decision, on June 12, 1967, the court struck down the Virginia law and similar laws in 16 other states.

Tags: "gay marriage", "June 12, "Prop 8 in California Courts", "Two Women & a Poodle", 1967", California court, Dotti Berry, equality, Loving v. Virginia, marriage, marriage equality, Mildred Loving, Prop 8, Richard Loving, Robynne Sapp, Rylee Joy